Often when the idea of self-compassion is introduced to people, they become uncomfortable. When questioned, they express concern that if they offer themselves self-compassion, they’ll give themselves permission to continue with the same behaviors and attitudes. This misconception needs to be dispelled. Self-compassion does not mean condoning. In fact, self-compassion entails accepting responsibility for our […]

“Always move toward your demons. They take their power from your retreat.” (Thom Rutledge) One valuable tool I’ve found for dealing with fear or anxiety is to view my feelings as enthusiasm. This way, if I’m fired up about an upcoming event, I can use this energy constructively and direct it accordingly. One rather odd […]

“If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change some past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.” (William James) One of the most important differences between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see their problems as temporary rather than permanent. When dealing with […]

A recent research study reports that, at least for women, drinking four or more cups of coffee per day lowers the relative risk of depression by 20 percent, compared with women who drink less than 100 mg coffee (about one cup) a day. This probably isn’t news to anyone who’s downed a cup of coffee […]

The other morning I awoke from a deep, refreshing sleep, relishing in my warm bed, the sound of birds chirping, the sight of lush trees outside the window, and I yawned luxuriously. Life was good. For about ten seconds. Then, the thoughts began to swirl about in my head, as I recalled phone calls to […]

Depression can be a vicious cycle. When circumstances or continual stress cause you to fall into a depressed mood, chances are that the thoughts going through your mind, be they about yourself, other people, or life in general, are anything but uplifting. They’re often more along the lines of “Why bother”, “I can’t handle this”, […]

“Everything you are against weakens you. Everything you are for empowers you.”  Wayne Dyer Coming to terms with one’s current personal difficulties is vital for personal growth and to live a fulfilling and happy life. Maybe you struggle with a tendency toward anger or depression. Perhaps you’ve found yourself in a destructive pattern of drinking […]

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”  Eleanor Roosevelt Is there something in your life right now that’s causing you anxiety? Maybe you’re meeting up with a friend you haven’t seen for years and you’re feeling shy. Perhaps you have to give a presentation in front of business associates who intimidate you. It’s possible […]

I mentioned recently how helpful self-compassion can be when we experience uncomfortable feelings. It occurred to me that this is somewhat akin to having a tired, cranky child in the back seat when we’re taking a long road trip. Let’s say that you’re feeling fearful about an important project at work. You find yourself mulling […]

Sometimes there’s just no way around it — we’re uncomfortable. Having the capacity to feel deeply means that we’ll have moments of excitement, joy, love, laughter, peace… and also boredom, sadness, anger, tears, and anxiety. However, it’s often through our judgment of our distressing emotions that we end up having more of them. For instance, […]