Do you find it hard to take a compliment, believing that you don’t deserve praise? Do you focus on minor mistakes you’ve made, rather than acknowledging all of the things you do well? If a friend compliments your smile, do you brush off the remark with a derogatory comment about yourself? If so, you may […]

It’s usually pretty easy to feel good about ourselves when things are going our way, when we’ve been making significant progress on our personal and professional intentions, and when we’re in harmony with the important people in our lives. However, when we fall short of our own expectations, disappoint others, or fail to achieve a […]

Into every life some rain must fall. As smug as this cliché may sound, it’s true. Even if we’ve been blessed with the “happy” gene, we cannot avoid feeling emotionally uncomfortable from time to time. We feel things for a reason. Our emotional pain carries a message. If someone close to us passes away, it’s […]

“I’m too old not to be on my own side.”  Maya Angelou Nor are you ever too young to be on your own side. Developing self-compassion offers far-reaching benefits. 1) For instance, you might think that taking a stern approach with yourself about your smoking habit would help to achieve your aim. However, a recent study revealed […]

Are you an emotional perfectionist? Do any of the following statements ring true for you? I should always be happy and upbeat. I should never feel depressed or anxious. I should be able to snap out of a “negative” state of mind. Often we have an idealistic view of happy and successful people. We believe […]

“If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change some past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.”  William James In his book Learned Optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman explains, “The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long […]

Happiness. Anxiety. Delight. Frustration. Serenity. Impatience. In other words, emotions. We all have them. And so far nobody has figured out a way to remove the uncomfortable feelings without also erasing exuberance and the other pleasurable emotions. So, our options are either to accept occasional emotional pain or relinquish feeling much of anything at all. […]

Do people tell you that you’re too “thin-skinned” or overly reactive? Do you tend to pick up on other people’s energy to the point where you “catch” their moods? Does being around a large group of people drain you? Do you need a lot of time alone to regroup and regain your energy? Are you […]

We all hear a lot about the benefits of giving thanks, especially during the holiday season. Indeed, people who express gratitude tend to be happier, healthier, and more able to cope with life in general. However, sometimes we just don’t feel grateful, and all of the advice about giving thanks just irritates us. How do […]

Feeding yourself supportive and realistic statements about how to handle your interactions with other people can go a long way toward reducing your stress level. Consider the following statements, taken from Dr. Marsha Linehan’s Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (1993): It is OK to want or need something from someone else. I […]