Happiness. Anxiety. Delight. Frustration. Serenity. Impatience. In other words, emotions. We all have them. And so far nobody has figured out a way to remove the uncomfortable feelings without also erasing exuberance and the other pleasurable emotions. So, our options are either to accept occasional emotional pain or relinquish feeling much of anything at all. […]

Do people tell you that you’re too “thin-skinned” or overly reactive? Do you tend to pick up on other people’s energy to the point where you “catch” their moods? Does being around a large group of people drain you? Do you need a lot of time alone to regroup and regain your energy? Are you […]

We all hear a lot about the benefits of giving thanks, especially during the holiday season. Indeed, people who express gratitude tend to be happier, healthier, and more able to cope with life in general. However, sometimes we just don’t feel grateful, and all of the advice about giving thanks just irritates us. How do […]

Feeding yourself supportive and realistic statements about how to handle your interactions with other people can go a long way toward reducing your stress level. Consider the following statements, taken from Dr. Marsha Linehan’s Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (1993): It is OK to want or need something from someone else. I […]

“I’m too old not to be on my own side.” (Maya Angelou) Actually, you’re never too young to be on your own side. Developing self-compassion offers a multitude of benefits, some which may seem counterintuitive. For instance, you might think that taking the drill sergeant approach with yourself about reducing your chocolate or smoking habit […]

Often when the idea of self-compassion is introduced to people, they become uncomfortable. When questioned, they express concern that if they offer themselves self-compassion, they’ll give themselves permission to continue with the same behaviors and attitudes. This misconception needs to be dispelled. Self-compassion does not mean condoning. In fact, self-compassion entails accepting responsibility for our […]

I mentioned recently how helpful self-compassion can be when we experience uncomfortable feelings. It occurred to me that this is somewhat akin to having a tired, cranky child in the back seat when we’re taking a long road trip. Let’s say that you’re feeling fearful about an important project at work. You find yourself mulling […]

Sometimes there’s just no way around it — we’re uncomfortable. Having the capacity to feel deeply means that we’ll have moments of excitement, joy, love, laughter, peace… and also boredom, sadness, anger, tears, and anxiety. However, it’s often through our judgment of our distressing emotions that we end up having more of them. For instance, […]

A Chinese proverb states: “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” How true this is on any challenging journey. When pursuing a goal, it’s inevitable that at times you won’t perform exactly as you wish you had, and it’s in your response to the situation that your potential power lies. For instance, in the case […]