• Schedule an Appointment

    Contact me for a free phone consultation
    3201 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 201 | Santa Monica, CA 90403
    rachel@rachelfintzy.com | (310) 365-1632

    • Email
    • LinkedIn
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
  • Rachel Fintzy Woods

    • Home
    • About Me
    • My Therapeutic Approach
      • Couples and Relationship Therapy
      • Do You Have An Eating Disorder?
      • Somatic Therapy & The Mind-Body Connection
    • Groups & Workshops
    • Get Started
      • Insurance & Fees
      • Good Faith Estimate Notice
      • Pay My Bill
    • Resources
      • Mental Health Links
      • Common Questions
      • Recommended Readings
      • Research Findings
      • Rachel in the Media
    • Contact Me
    • Blog

    The Wisdom of Not Knowing

    January 16, 2012
    Share on Facebook Share
    Share on TwitterTweet
    Share on Pinterest Share
    Share on LinkedIn Share
    Share on Digg Share
    Send email Mail

    “One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” (Andre Gide)

    It’s so tempting to fall into a “know-it-all” trap. In fact, it’s very enticing, since there’s something very comforting about feeling as if we have a situation or decision “down pat”, because then, or so we feel, we won’t have to think about it anymore. Done. No problem. Next subject.

    However, life is funny… or at least unpredictable. Sometimes the dynamics of a relationship change, a career no longer feels right to us, we’re dealt a financial blow, or we receive disturbing news about our health — and we realize that we’ll need to adapt, given this new information. Actually, we don’t need to adapt, but trying to remain the same (because it would be embarrassing to admit that we really didn’t “know it all”) would become less and less feasible or healthy.

    Here’s where the wisdom of not knowing, or beginner’s mind, comes in. While thinking that we have “it” figured out can close us off to alternative views and possibilities, being willing to look at things with new eyes and an open mind can open us up to new ways of perceiving and dealing with our circumstances.

    Perhaps you’ve heard the joke about the patient who tells their doctor, “Every time I drink coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye”. The doctor replies, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?” How many of us are so attached to the way we drink coffee, because this is how we’ve always done it, that we’re ignoring the spoon that’s causing us pain?

    The irony is that often we prefer the familiarity of current painful situations or habits to the unpredictability of an alternative, even if the latter may alleviate or remove our discomfort and may greatly enhance our lives. Striving to be emotionally and mentally present does take extra effort and practice, as opposed to operating on automatic pilot. However, if we can be willing to not know how things are going to work out and instead focus our attention on taking the next indicated step, we have a better chance of constructively expanding our world.

    So, what are you willing to try differently, even if the process may be uncomfortable? What are you willing to relinquish “knowing”, so that you can open your mind and heart to a new way of seeing and doing things? Remember, if what you currently believe to be true and right is actually so, having a beginner’s mind will only reinforce this fact. As has been said, you can have an open mind, but not so open that it falls out.

    Share on Facebook Share
    Share on TwitterTweet
    Share on Pinterest Share
    Share on LinkedIn Share
    Share on Digg Share
    Send email Mail

    Filed Under: General, Mindfulness, Personal Growth Tagged With: wisdom

    Rachel Fintzy Woods, MA, LMFT

    3201 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 201
    Santa Monica, CA 90403

    (310) 365-1632
    rachel@rachelfintzy.com

    Online Counseling

    Browse Through My Blog

    • Acceptance (39)
    • Addiction (12)
    • Anxiety (45)
    • Codependency (1)
    • Courage (19)
    • Depression (24)
    • Emotion Regulation (49)
    • Emotional Eating (8)
    • General (147)
    • Goal Setting (26)
    • Grief and Loss (2)
    • Happiness (38)
    • Holidays (5)
    • Mental Health (67)
    • Mind/Body Connection (14)
    • Mindfulness (38)
    • Peace (8)
    • Personal Growth (67)
    • Relationships (31)
    • Self-Compassion (29)
    • Words of Wisdom (5)

    Contact Me Today

    By submitting this form via this web portal, you acknowledge and accept the risks of communicating your health information via this unencrypted email and electronic messaging and wish to continue despite those risks. By clicking "Yes, I want to submit this form" you agree to hold Brighter Vision harmless for unauthorized use, disclosure, or access of your protected health information sent via this electronic means.
    Rachel Fintzy Woods, MFT
    rachel@rachelfintzy.com | (310) 365-1632

    Online Counseling
    A Website by Brighter Vision | Privacy Policy