So… why therapy?

Maybe you’re going through something big. Or maybe life’s actually going fine—but you’ve got this quiet sense there could be more ease, more joy, more you in it. Therapy isn’t just for crises (though it’s great for those); it’s also for folks who want to go from “getting by” to “thriving.” Think of it like coaching for the messy, beautiful sport of being human. Even Olympic athletes have a coach—and so do many of us just trying to do life with a little more clarity and heart.

It’s not all about fixing what’s broken.  Positive psychology, for instance, is about building on your strengths and increasing happiness and well-being using science-backed strategies. We don’t stop growing just because we’re no longer in school. (And, let’s be honest, some of the best life lessons come after the pop quizzes end.) Brains can change at any age—so it’s never too late to rewire a few things and learn how to thrive in new ways.

In therapy, I like to notice what’s already working in your life (because something always is!) and gently explore areas where things might feel stuck, confusing, or just plain exhausting.

Your body is part of the story, too. While I do talk therapy (and yes, we will talk), I also pay close attention to your body’s signals. Trauma, stress, and even long-term habits don’t just live in your head—they live in your nervous system. That’s why I incorporate tools from Polyvagal Theory to help your body feel safe enough to heal. Because no amount of insight will do much if your nervous system still thinks it's in a bear attack.

Let’s talk thoughts (and what to do with them).  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the core tools I use. It’s based on the idea that it’s not just life’s events that affect us—it’s how we interpret them. So while you can’t always change your boss, your teenager, or that one driver who cuts you off every morning, you can change your relationship to the stress they cause. CBT gives you the skills to notice your patterns, shift unhelpful thoughts, and try on new, more effective responses.

Want to dig deeper? Enter ACT and IFS.  ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) is like CBT’s wise, slightly spiritual cousin. It helps you make space for the tough stuff—grief, fear, disappointment—while getting really clear on what you value most and taking steps in that direction. Because life’s too short to chase someone else’s definition of a meaningful life.

IFS (Internal Family Systems) offers another beautiful lens. It’s based on the idea that you’re not one monolithic personality—you’re a whole internal community. There are parts of you that binge, restrict, avoid, criticize, people-please… and also a calm, wise core Self that can lead. IFS helps you hear and heal these parts instead of battling them, especially helpful if you’ve struggled with binge eating, trauma, or anxiety that doesn’t budge with logic alone.

Let’s not forget mindfulness. Mindfulness—aka the fine art of noticing what’s happening without immediately running from it—is one of the most powerful skills I teach. It helps with mood, stress, chronic health issues, emotional eating, and the general feeling of being bowled over by life. It’s not about becoming a Zen monk (unless that’s your thing), but about learning to ride life’s waves without wiping out.

DBT & RO-DBT: Tools for the emotionally overwhelmed and the tightly wound. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is excellent for folks who feel like their emotions have the volume turned up to 11. It blends CBT with mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and relationship skills. On the flip side, Radically Open DBT (RO-DBT) is designed for people who tend to be overly controlled—think perfectionism, chronic inhibition, or that inner voice that insists feelings are inconvenient. RO-DBT helps foster openness, connection, and flexibility. Both can be practiced individually or in groups—choose your own adventure.

Body-mind connection: It's real. Emotions affect your physical health. And chronic illness or pain affects your emotions. It’s a two-way street. Whether you’re navigating autoimmune issues, burnout, or just the general stress of being a human in a complicated world, therapy can help you listen to what your body’s trying to tell you—and respond with more wisdom and compassion (instead of judgment and panic).

For couples: No, you’re not the only ones who argue about the dishes. When I work with couples, I use the Gottman Method—a well-researched approach that’s helped thousands of couples communicate better, rebuild trust, and reconnect with why they chose each other in the first place. And if you’re part of a 12-Step program (AA, Al-Anon, OA, etc.), I’m happy to incorporate that framework into our work together.

For individuals working on relationships: because sometimes it’s not them—it’s… complicated.  Not all relationship work happens with both partners in the room. Sometimes it’s just you, sorting through the knots and questions: Should I stay or go? Why do I keep attracting the same type of person? Why do I shut down—or blow up—when things get real?

Whether you're single, partnered, in a situationship, or navigating the long tail of a breakup or divorce, individual relationship therapy can help you get clarity, shift long-standing patterns, and strengthen your connection to yourself—because that’s the foundation for any healthy relationship. We’ll look at your attachment style, beliefs about love, family-of-origin dynamics, communication patterns, and whatever else might be shaping your experience of intimacy (and, sometimes, avoidance of it). No judgment. Just curiosity, honesty, and some well-timed humor when needed.

Want to get started? Feel free to reach out to me at rachel@rachelfintzy.com or (310) 365-1632 with questions or to schedule a session. Therapy doesn’t have to be intimidating—it can even be a little… dare I say… fun.