When Stress Doesn't Fade: Understanding Acute Stress, PTSD, and Grief
Imagine you’ve just lived through something big, scary, or heartbreaking. Maybe it was a car accident, an unexpected medical diagnosis, a breakup, or the loss of someone you love. Your nervous system reacts like a smoke alarm that’s suddenly been set off at full volume: heart racing, sleep disturbed, everything feeling “off.”
This is actually your body doing its job. Acute stress is the mind-body system trying to protect you after something overwhelming happens. Most of the time, given enough space and support, the system settles down—the alarm quiets, your sleep evens out, and the world starts to feel safe again.
But sometimes the alarm keeps blaring. That’s when we start to look at Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Acute Stress vs. PTSD
Acute Stress:
Usually shows up in the hours, days, or weeks after a disturbing event.
Symptoms can include anxiety, irritability, intrusive memories, nightmares, hypervigilance, or feeling emotionally numb.
Often temporary. With time, rest, connection, and sometimes professional support, the nervous system recalibrates.
PTSD:
Occurs when those acute stress responses don’t naturally resolve.
Symptoms last for a month or longer and may feel like you’re stuck in a loop: reliving the trauma, avoiding reminders, staying constantly on edge, or feeling detached from life.
It’s not about “being weak”—it’s about your nervous system getting stuck in survival mode, as if the danger never ended.
Think of it this way: acute stress is like your brain and body pulling the fire alarm during a crisis. PTSD is when the alarm system breaks and won’t stop ringing, even long after the fire is out.
PTSD and Grief: Different Roads, Some Overlap
Grief and PTSD can look like distant cousins who occasionally show up wearing the same outfit. Both can involve:
Trouble sleeping
Flashbacks (though in grief, it may be vivid memories of your loved one rather than the traumatic event)
Intense emotional waves that come without warning
Feeling detached or numb
The key difference:
Grief is about learning to live with absence—missing someone or something that was precious to you. The pain ebbs and flows, and over time, most people find the intensity softens, though the loss remains a part of them.
PTSD is about the nervous system being hijacked by the memory of an overwhelming event, keeping you in “fight, flight, or freeze” mode as if the event is still happening.
But there can be overlap. Sometimes grief is traumatic (like losing someone suddenly or violently). Sometimes trauma involves grief (like the loss of safety, trust, or the life you knew before the event). In both cases, your body and psyche are trying to make sense of something that feels senseless.
How Healing Can Happen
Different approaches can help quiet the alarm system and tend to the parts of you carrying pain:
Somatic support (body-based tools):
Grounding: placing your feet on the floor, pressing your hands together, or noticing three things you see, hear, and feel right now.
Gentle movement: walking, stretching, or shaking out your arms and legs—helping your body discharge “stuck” survival energy.
Breath work: slow, steady exhales can signal safety to your nervous system.
IFS (Internal Family Systems) support:
You might notice different “parts” of yourself reacting. One part might be hyper-alert (“We’re never safe again!”). Another might shut down (“Let’s just not feel anything”). A grieving part might ache with longing.
Healing often begins with noticing these parts and bringing curiosity rather than judgment. You don’t have to “fix” them all at once—just begin a gentle dialogue: “I see you. You’ve been carrying so much.”
Over time, the wise, compassionate Self within you can help your parts feel safer and less burdened.
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) support:
Defusion: Our minds can play scary “movies” of what happened or what might happen. Try gently naming these thoughts—“There’s my brain replaying the worst-case scenario again”—rather than fusing with them.
Acceptance: Instead of fighting painful emotions, you allow space for them. Imagine making room inside your chest for grief, fear, or anger, without letting those feelings drive the bus.
Values: Trauma and grief can make life feel meaningless. Reconnecting with what truly matters to you—kindness, creativity, faith, relationships—can give you a compass, even when the road feels foggy.
Committed action: Small, values-based steps—sending a text to a friend, taking a walk in nature, creating something—help rebuild a life worth living alongside the pain.
Connection matters, too. Healing doesn’t usually happen in isolation. Safe relationships—whether with friends, family, community, or a therapist—offer a kind of co-regulation. Being with someone who can stay calm while you share your story helps your nervous system learn that safety is possible again.
A Gentle Reminder
If you’ve been through something painful, your reactions make sense. Stress, trauma, and grief are not signs of weakness—they’re signs that you’re human and that your nervous system is trying (sometimes a little too hard) to protect you.
Healing isn’t always linear, and it’s rarely about “getting back to normal.” It’s more like learning a new rhythm—one where you carry what you’ve been through without it carrying you. With patience, support, and practices that honor both your mind and body, healing is possible. The alarm can quiet, the waves of grief can soften, and life can begin to feel like your own again.