"I’m too old not to be on my own side.” Maya Angelou Nor are you ever too young to be on your own side. Developing self-compassion offers far-reaching benefits. 1) For instance, you might think that taking a stern approach with yourself about your smoking...
Are you an emotional perfectionist? Do any of the following statements ring true for you? I should always be happy and upbeat. I should never feel depressed or anxious. I should be able to snap out of a “negative” state of mind. Often we have...
“If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change some past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.” William James In his book Learned Optimism, Dr. Martin Seligman explains, "The defining characteristic of pessimists...
Happiness. Anxiety. Delight. Frustration. Serenity. Impatience. In other words, emotions. We all have them. And so far nobody has figured out a way to remove the uncomfortable feelings without also erasing exuberance and the other pleasurable emotions. So, our options are either to accept occasional...
Do people tell you that you’re too “thin-skinned” or overly reactive? Do you tend to pick up on other people’s energy to the point where you “catch” their moods? Does being around a large group of people drain you? Do you need a lot of...
We all hear a lot about the benefits of giving thanks, especially during the holiday season. Indeed, people who express gratitude tend to be happier, healthier, and more able to cope with life in general. However, sometimes we just don’t feel grateful, and all of...
Feeding yourself supportive and realistic statements about how to handle your interactions with other people can go a long way toward reducing your stress level. Consider the following statements, taken from Dr. Marsha Linehan’s Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder (1993): It is...
“I’m too old not to be on my own side.” (Maya Angelou) Actually, you’re never too young to be on your own side. Developing self-compassion offers a multitude of benefits, some which may seem counterintuitive. For instance, you might think that taking the drill sergeant...
Often when the idea of self-compassion is introduced to people, they become uncomfortable. When questioned, they express concern that if they offer themselves self-compassion, they’ll give themselves permission to continue with the same behaviors and attitudes. This misconception needs to be dispelled. Self-compassion does not...
I mentioned recently how helpful self-compassion can be when we experience uncomfortable feelings. It occurred to me that this is somewhat akin to having a tired, cranky child in the back seat when we’re taking a long road trip. Let’s say that you’re feeling fearful...