When most people hear the name Gottman, they think of couples’ therapy—love maps, bids for connection, repair attempts, the infamous “four horsemen.” It’s all about strengthening bonds, building trust, and keeping love alive. But here’s the plot twist: those same tools aren’t just for romantic...
Let’s face it: most of us have an inner critic who just. won’t. quit. It chimes in when you're trying on clothes ("Not those pants again"), when you're sending an email ("You sound unprofessional"), and especially when you’re about to do something meaningful or vulnerable,...
Family Systems (IFS) therapy is based on the idea that we all have various parts or sub-personalities. This is perfectly normal and to be expected. Have you ever thought “part of me wants to stay at home, but another part of me wants to go...
Do you find yourself trying to figure out why experiences have happened to you, why certain situations frighten you, or why certain inevitables (death and taxes, as they say) exist? If so, welcome to the human race. Our minds are meaning-making machines. In addition, gaining...
Patience is one of the most useful character traits we can develop. Whether we’re dealing with a prolonged case of the flu, a troubling relative, learning a second (or third) language, or digging ourselves out of a financial hole, patience makes it possible for us...
We are with ourselves 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and the conversations we have with ourselves constitute the most powerful influence on our feelings, actions, and characters. How would you describe your internal conversations? Are they kind, supportive, honest, and patient? Or...
Do you often say to yourself things like, “This experience means that I’m not a good person”, “I’m not good at math”, or “I’m not worthy of my husband [or wife]”. If so, this is a clue that you may have a fixed mindset, in...
Perhaps it’s those pesky migraine headaches, with the accompanying nausea, dizziness, and sensitivity to light, that threaten to incapacitate you on a regular or sporadic basis. Or maybe you struggle with chronic fatigue syndrome, a condition possibly connected with Epstein-Barr virus, that makes even taking...
“Mindfulness is the miracle by which we master and restore ourselves.” (Thich Nhat Hanh) Do you find yourself looking forward to your nightly glass of wine a bit too much? Do you struggle with late-night trips to the 7-11 for junk food? Are you dabbling...
Do you sometimes recoil from uncomfortable emotions, thinking that you either shouldn’t be feeling them or that you cannot handle them? The truth is that we’re meant to have a broad range of emotions. We actually need to, since they provide us with valuable information....